Below are the 6 most recent journal entries recorded in ga_greyeyedgirl's LiveJournal:

Saturday, March 11th, 2006
10:57 am	"Unraveled" Takes TWO SECONDS to read. Come on, y'all know you love it. wrote this in half an hour (yes, half an hour, that's why it's not as good as my usual ones) this morning. See what happens when I'm deprived of sleep? Unraveled By greyeyedgirl One-shot fic for Bang (Burke+Yang, baby!) during “A Band-Aid Covers The Bullet Hole.” No spoilers except for what’s in preview, r&r, enjoy, come on D/M lovers, you know you want some Cristina’n’Burke action. Oh, my love Please don’t cry I’ll wash my bloody hands, And we’ll start a new life.... Cristina awoke to a horrible, horrible sound. Laughter drifting in from her kitchen. She recognized vaguely the sound of her boyfriend’s deep chuckle, and the other was was unmistakably George’s. She groaned loudly, rolling out of bed and preparing to smack both of them with a spatula (or whatever that egg-cooking thing was called), rendering them incapable of ever disrupting her sleep again. Oh, ew. They were cooking together. She could smell the odor of frying eggs, and George was expertly flipping a large chunk of ovum. Ohhhhhh, ick, who could eat something that smelled like that, especially so early in the morning? “Morning.” Burke had grinned at her when she came out, and now he leaned towards her, kissing her forehead quickly. She tried to force a smile, as she surveyed the scene in front of her. Burke had already moved back towards George, and they were talking and laughing again, as Burke took over the cooking and George grabbed some plates from the cupboard. “G’morning, Cristina,” said George, smiling that awkward, George-ish smile that was currently making her want to commit mass homicide sing only a spatula. Or, hell, she was feeling lazy. Why not steal the whole pan? “I gotta go,” Cristina responded, trying to shake the mental image from her head so she would not be permanently scarred for life. She moved to grab her jacket, pulling her hair out from under it. She’d just gotten the door to the apartment open when she felt someone twirl her slowly around, and was briefly allowed a glimpse of shining white contrasting against smooth dark skin, and then Burke kissed her forehead again lightly, looking into her eyes. She tried to seem nonchalant, like it was no big deal, but her heart raced at the contact. “Bye,” she said, hating the sudden breath-y quality of her voice, knowing her face was twinging red. Burke grinned at her again, laughingly, and silently handed her a piece of toast and her mug of coffee. “Thanks.” Cristina allowed him one tiny smile, seeing Burke’s eyes light up, and turned to make her way down the hallway, shooting Burke a grin over her shoulder. *~*~*~*~*~*~* “Rounds. Come on, move it, our pit woman isn’t going to heal herself, and as I already explained, Denny has yet to grown a new heart.” Bailey’s drone seemed tired and fprced today, opposed to the usual snappiness. Cristina dragged behind, conversing with Meredith. “It’s just, seeing them together, running, and cooking, and...bonding?” She shook her head wearily, a look of disgust on her face. Meredith nodded understandingly. “You four take care of Denny, Cristina, you’re with me.” Cristina turned back to Bailey, slightly disoriented, but nodded. “Of course, Dr. Bailey.” Cristina and Bailey exited he hospital at a jog, with Miranda falling a step behind, holding the baby tight to her as they caught up to the EMTs outside. “Thirty-one year old female, has a, uh...” The paramedic gestured to the patient on the gurney, who was smiling with forced chipperness at them. Bailey stared down at the woman in front of her, with a fork sticking out of the side of her neck. “Right,” she said distractedly. “Uh....Cristina...here, take him. Send Grey to room 309.” “Uh...wait...no, you really don’t want me to do this!” Cristina’s voice started out hesitant and ended in a panic. “No---Dr. Bailey! You can’t leave me with it-” Cristina stared down at the figure in her arms, before watching it’s mother helping to push the gurney into the hospital. *~*~*~*~*~* “Shhh....Hey...no! Stop crying!” Cristina tried to calm the baby in her arms, it’s crying becoming more persistent. She tried frantically to get it to drink from the bottle Bailey had left in the baby bag someone had thrown at her, but it was to no avail. “No...baby...eat...please, eat!” “Are we having a problem?” Burke’s voice was smooth, making her jump as she looked behind her at the door to the on-call room. “Um,” Cristina attempted, “I seem to have...a situation.” “I can see that.” Burke entered the room, smiling down at her, and Cristina cleared her throat. Burke sent her a reassuring nod, a smile tooying at his lips, and removed the small baby from hjer arms, cooing at him softly. The baby’s crying ceased at once. Cristina stared up at him, in apparent awe, as Burke continued to coo gently at the baby, taking the bottle from Cristina’s hand as he did so. “Hey, buddy,” Burke murmured. “He wouldn’t stop crying before.” “You were holding him wrong.” “I was not! I took a class in natal when I was at school-” “Babies want to be loved, Cristina.” Burke looked down at her. “Scared you’ll catch the baby bug?” Cristina decided not answering was best. “I’m not good with them,” she mumbled. “You were doing fine,” Burke reassured her. “It just takes a little practice.” “And where did you get practice?” Cristina stared at him, startled. “I have a baby brother. He was six years younger than me, and my mom let me help take care of him every once in a while. And now he has kids, I’ve been around them, too-” He broke off. “It’s not hard,” he assured her, smiling. “You were doing good for a first time.” “I already told you, it’s not a first time, I took a class at med schoo-” “Holding a doll and holding a baby are 2 very different things, Cristina.” Cristina sent him a death glare, but Burke just smiled. “Here,” he said, “Come closer, I’ll show you-” Cristina took a few tentative steps, as Burke carefully set baby Jones in her arms. He stood silently right behind her, holding her close, his arms under hers as they supported the baby. Cristina felt her breath catch, both from his closeness and from the tiny life, now lying calmly, in her arms. “He’s cute,” she murmured, suddenly feeling a lot calmer around it that Burke was there. “He likes you,” Burke said softly. Cristina turned her head to look up at him, and their gaze caught the other’s. “What do you think he would have been like?” “What?” Cristina’s voice was soft. “Ours.” The thought shook him. Cristina had never mentioned their baby as an actual living person before. “I don’t know,” Burke breathed softly, carefully squeezing her closer to him. “Perfect, I suppose. Like his mother. Beautiful and brilliant and-” his voice shook, feeling the pain of their loss for the first time in months. “Yeah.” Cristina’s voice seemed sad in a very high-pitched sort of way. “I can’t imagine you fathering a child that was not perfect.” “Thank you...I think you’ll be a perfect mother,” Burke breathed. Cristina seemed to shake in front him. “Are you ready?” “No...don’t let go yet...” Burke kissed the side of her neck gently. “I’m letting go,” he said softly. “No, what if I drop hi-” Burke’s arms carefully lessened under Cristina’s, moving so he was touching her waist. “You got him.” Cristina stared down at the baby in her arms, nodding quietly to herself. “I got him.” (4 Comments |Comment on this)
Monday, February 20th, 2006
4:22 pm	Down For Love Chapter 2 Down For Love- chapter 2 By greyeyedgirl. BTW, if you’re interested, my real name is Ruthi. Author’s Note: Well, I had more homework assigned, and I have midterms to study for, and Physics crap to do, but, well...lol. It’s okay, though, I have a 4.0. Anyway, I hope this turns out okay. I wasn’t quite sure where to go with the story, I never really am, I just let my fingers type and hope what letters they’ve strung together make sense. Summary: “Meredith could feel the pain, stuck in her lungs and throat and soul, not letting her respond. The tears were too warm, they burned like the alcohol, and they were just as dangerous.” “34 year old male, damage to chest, in need of heart surgery to repair damage. Alcohol found in his bloodstream. May regain consciousness, is still-” Derek awoke with a jolt, feeling pain like he never had before. He felt woozy, he could barely comprehend “few blocks away” “Seattle Grace” “loss of blood cause of concern.” What was going on? What happened? “Meredith?” “He’s awake.” “Sir, can you hear me? You were in a car accident. We’re taking you to Seattle Grace Hospital, you’re in need of a-” Derek attempted to sit up, but it was futile. “Meredith...” xxxxxxx “Are you okay?” Meredith turned her head, rubbing a tear away from her eye. “Cristina.” Cristina walked over to her, sitting next to her in the waiting room. Her voice was uncharacteristically soft. “It’s okay. Burke’s going to take care of him.” Meredith forced a smile. “I know. I’m...I’m not worried.” Cristina was looking at her, concern written all over her lovely features. “Do you...need to talk about it?” “He was drunk. He was driving drunk.” Cristina sighed. “I know.” Meredith’s voice broke as the tears fell, she leaned her head against Cristina, crying. “He couldn’t stop saying my name.” Cristina’s arm wove it’s way around Meredith’s shoulder. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “I want to go see him after the surgery. I need to. But what if...she’s there?” Cristina didn’t say anything, just let Meredith’s head tip against her, wiping away her tears. xxxxxxx “The surgery went perfectly. He’s in recovery, but his chances should be excellent after his body gets over the essential shock of the accident followed almost immediately by the surgery.” “Thank you, Dr. Burke.” Meredith’s head was still leaned against Cristina’s, although Cristina’s eyes had become locked on Burke since he had entered the room. Burke looked uncomfortable for a moment. “Dr. Grey, he’s...asking to see you. It might help him.” Meredith looked at Cristina, standing up. “Will you...walk me in there?” Cristina grasped Meredith’s hand, leading her to the room. Derek’s eyes were closed. “Derek?” Cristina gave Meredith’s hand a last squeeze, before releasing it and subtly stepping out the door. Derek’s eyes had flown open at the sound of her voice. “Meredith.” His voice was soft, weak. Meredith could feel the pain, stuck in her lungs and throat and soul, not letting her respond. The tears were too warm, they burned like the alcohol, and they were just as dangerous. “I’m leaving Addison.” Meredith was shaking, wondering if heaven could only come after the world had completely crashed down around her. “What would be enough?” “Meredith, I don’t want you to cry.” She still couldn’t talk. Her vocal cords had been ripped out. It Hurt. Why couldn’t life ever give that anesthesia? Didn’t people deserve some damn painkillers? They were quiet, maybe too quiet, but maybe not. “Will you stay with me?” He whispered. Meredith wasn’t sure if he meant in the hospital room, or in a relationship, or even if he had spoke at all. Her dreams liked to play tricks on her. “Yes.” xxxxxxx “Derek, we...we need to talk about this.” Addison’s eyes were lit, whether from the light hitting them or the tears forming was undetectable. “What’s there to talk about?” Derek was quiet, and his eyes were glistening, pained from physical and emotional heartbreak. “You...you’re really...in love with her?” Addison was trying to keep her composure. Her head was up straight. She couldn’t let him see what he was doing to her. She wasn’t going to stay with someone that didn’t want her. “So this is really...it? I packed up my life, my practice, and you’re telling me that you’re in love with her?” “Addison, I’m so sorry.” Why did he have to keep apologizing to the women he was with? “I just...we’ve...drifted away, and I don’t feel...that...anymore. And with Meredith, it’s...different.” Addison looked broken. “Derek, I can’t go back to New York. Everyone would...know, and...” “Tell them you broke up with me. That I cheated on you. Whatever you want. It doesn’t matter to me. My life is here now, Addie.” Addison could feel her inside shattering as she stared at Derek, trying to keep her face like she didn’t care. Like he wasn’t killing her. “You’re really...in love with her.” A hint of a smile twitched at Derek’s face as Meredith’s smile drifted into his mind. “Yes.” Addison forced her voice not to shake, managing a syllable, pronouncing it carelessly, nonchalantly. “Fine.” xxxxxxxx Meredith headed down the hall, brushing a tear off her face as she walked. How could it work? How could she be with him? How couldn’t she be with him? She sighed. At least she didn’t have to deal with Addison. Derek had said...she smiled, thinking of him. She continued down the hall, the cup of coffee Cristina had brought her warming her hand. She felt a little humming in her head as she pictured Derek’s face. She’d promised to take him to see the ferryboats as soon as he was out of recovery. The smile widened on her face. Maybe it would work. She stopped walking as she turned a corner, as she watched Addison exit Derek’s room. xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx A/N: Sorry. Not very good at cliffhangers either. :p Sorry, I have to go study for my Civics midterm, it’s tomorrow! I’m going to try to continue to write ff as much as I can, but I’m going to have a lot of homework next semester, I switched to Advanced Algebra. / But I promise to write fanfic! Like, a lot. Because I always wait till way past the last possible moment to do my homework anyway. Smiles sheepishly. And with new episodes (FINALLY, freaky-deaky yay) I’ll have TONNNSSS to write about, and I’ll just be rattlin off the stories. BTW, sorry the fic’s kinda...off. I’m a little distracted. ;) (Comment on this)
4:20 pm	Title: Down for Love Rating: PG-13 Pairing: Meredith/Derek Summary: “The liquor dripping down his throat was burning, and it fit Derek’s mood as he reminisced about Meredith.” Takes place after 2x12, "Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer." Disclaimer: If I owned Grey's Anatomy, there would be a new rule that Dr. Burke and Dr. Shepherd are NOT allowed to operate with their shirts on. So obviously no money made here. Title: Down For Love Author: Greyeyedgirl Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am a sick, obsessed child who is addicted to both Grey’s Anatomy and writing. I also have a procrastination problem, and this helps pass the time while I avoid doing my homework. :D Summary: “The liquor dripping down his throat was burning, and it fit Derek’s mood as he reminisced about Meredith.” Author’s Note: Quick fic to pass the time before Grey’s gets off hiatus. Read, review. And don’t get mad if the fiction sucks. I am very tired. And this fic was bothering me to be written. I think I have OCD. The liquor dripping down his throat was burning, and it fit Derek’s mood as he reminisced about Meredith. Her hair...It smelled good. Not like hair that had just been washed and smelled like expensive, over-scentified shampoo. It smelled like her. Like Meredith. Her eyes, her smile, the way she looked at him. He took another swig of the alcohol. They had to be long swigs, because if he just sipped at it, it would burn his tongue and throat, and he’d unwillingly spit it out. He had to just put as much down as quickly as he could to be able to swallow. Like ripping off a band-aid. No anesthesia. That was how she had been torn from him. Ripped away, leaving him down. He had drank the liquor as fast as he could, but it still burned, and it Hurt. He wiped the tear away from his eye, wishing it was just from the alcohol. He brought the bottle to his lips and inhaled. His coughing came out in rough bursts. “You okay, man?” It was Joe, looking at him, worry on his face. “I’m fine,” Derek managed. “Dude, I think you’ve had enough.” “I’m fine!” His voice sounded ruder than he’d intended. He’d had more than enough. “Sorry, Joe,” he whispered, taking the bottle of Southern Comfort and stumbling out the door. He couldn’t stay here. She might come, and he knew he would not be able to resist the temptation, or be able to calm his aching heart when she came into view. Addison was staying at the hotel, and he knew she would not be back to the bar that night, just like he wouldn’t go back to New York. Too many bad memories. He wanted to go home. It was what he thought of the trailer as, even though he hadn’t been back there for a couple of months. He couldn’t drive, could he? It wouldn’t be bright. He dipped the top of the bottle back into his mouth. Ohhhh, how it burned. He deserved it, for what he had done to her. His heart had been hurting since Meredith had first said, “It’s not enough.” His heart was ruined, maybe even his brain, so why not worry the rest of his organs, too? He missed her. He could see her face, the look in her beautiful eyes when she saw him, the happiness transformed into pain that was rivaled only by his own. Was that the price that had to be paid for loving someone? For having a person in your life that could cause a happiness like no other? Having them hurt you instead? God, he loved her. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love the feel of your hair, soft and angelic through my fingers. I love the taste of your lips, the porcelain of your skin. The rhythmic beating of our hearts together. God, he was drunk. His eyes filled as he remembered the way she’d been after the big train wreck hit Seattle. How she’d reacted to Bonnie. “WE CAN’T JUST LEAVE HER! WE HAVE AN OBLIGATION!” Which had she said? We? Or he? His heart broke as he remembered her screams. How could he have done that? How could he have broken her like that? His body burned again, but this time it wasn’t from the alcohol. “Derek?” He looked up from his position with his head bent over the alcohol bottle. “Meredith,” he murmured. “It’s okay,” she said, bending down and taking the bottle from his hand. “It’s okay.” “Meredith,” he murmured, smiling. “Yes. It’s me.” “I’m srry. Iluv you.” His words were slurred and jumbled. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “Noooooooo.” Why was his head spinning such? “Iluv you Merdith.” Why couldn’t he talk right? “Meredith,” he corrected himself. “Yes.” “Iluv you.” “Yes.” He forced himself to open his eyes. “Sayit bak.” Meredith’s face swam in his mind. “Dude? Dude!” Derek awoke with a jolt. “What?” He mumbled quietly. “Uh, I think you fell asleep. Are you okay?” It was the male nurse, Tyler. “Yes.” He tried to sit up, his head throbbing and stomach burning. “Yes.” Tyler looked worried. “Are you sure, Dr. Shepherd?” Derek nodded absentmindedly, looking around. He must not have slept very long, it was still pitch black outside, and the alcohol had not even begun to wear off yet. He took another swig as he stood up, and it made him shiver. Ohhh, he was going to throw up. He made his way to the parking lot, fishing around in his pocket for his keys. There. Got ‘em. He sat himself down into the driver’s seat, fumbling to put the keys in the ignition. Turn, turn. There. Now, GO. He almost didn’t feel it as the impact threw him through the car. (Comment on this)
Tuesday, January 3rd, 2006
2:27 pm	There Are No Words-ch2 Title: There Are No Words Chapter: 2-Burke’s Point of View Author: GreyEyedGirl Disclaimer: This is NOT affiliated with Grey’s Anatomy. Duhhh. Summary: Chapter 1 was Cristina’s POV, but this one is Burke’s for the scene at the end of 2x12, “Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer.” There. The tree was finally set up, and it looked nice, I decided. The colors went together nicely, and the lights were twinkling softly. I stepped back and examined my work. The tree looked great, and the Menorah was lit. It’d be the first thing she saw when she came in. I took a deep breath, hoping she’d take it as I intended. A peace offering, in a way. A way of saying that I wanted to compromise, and if we worked together, it would work. It was worth the work, just to be able to wake up next to her every morning. To see her smiling at me at work. I closed my eyes, exhausted. The tree had been heavy, and I realized how tired I was. It had been a long day. I shut off the lights, hoping the holiday decorations would look peaceful, as I made my way down the hall to the bathroom. I stripped my clothes off, stepping into the hot shower. Hot showers had a way of cooling me off, as weird as that sounded in my head. I smiled at the sight of Cristina’s shampoo and shower gel next to mine. She was finally making a place for herself in the apartment. I contemplated with myself asking her to move her bureau into the apartment. She had brought her clothes and some of her stuff over, and her dresser would look nice next to mine. I looked at the sight of our shampoo next to each other again and smiled. The water was burning as I stepped out, drying myself off and putting on a fresh pair of clothes. I grabbed the books I’d purchased earlier that evening, taking them into the bedroom with me. I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep until she got back. I laid down on the bed, deciding to read the short book on Chanukah first. I finished it in about half an hour, and I took the thicker book on Judaism and set it on my lap, putting the Hanukkah book away. I rolled over on the bed, turning to rummage through a drawer for a bookmark. I thought I heard a noise behind me, but when I turned to look at the door there was nothing. I smiled. I was immersed in the book a few minutes later, when I heard the small, nervous voice. “Hi.” I looked up at the door, as she came running and jumped into the bed. I tried to keep my eyes on the book, as the urge to smile came over me. Her voice came again, quiet and slightly unsure. “Justin’s fever’s down.” I felt the sides of my lips twitch as I tried to concentrate on the sentence in front of me. “I wonder why that is.” Cristina’s voice made me want to laugh. “I don’t know.” Well, at least she was admitting she didn’t know everything. That was a start. I knew she’d known what she was doing when she had talked to the kid. She had realized that she might have been wrong, and instead of being cocky about it, she had decided to suck it up and deal. She didn’t want to take a chance about it. She’d known the risks were too high. Justin’s life was at stake, and our relationship had been shaking. I wanted her to realize that her rocking the boat wasn’t going to tip it over. I was steady, I knew that much. And if that was what she needed confidence in, I would give it to her. I could see out of the corner of my eye her reaching up and pull out the hair tie holding her hair in its ponytail. My breath caught at she shook it out, and she laid her head against me, wrapping her arm around my waist. Her hair was felt soft against my face, and as much as I tried to focus on the book, I could feel the beginnings of a smile reach my face. I continued my reading for the next few minutes, until I knew I couldn’t anymore. I closed the book, slipping the bookmark smoothly between two pages. I turned my head, letting myself do what I’d wanted to all evening. Her forehead was soft under my lips, and I touched her hair lightly. I love you. How could three words be so hard to say? I reached with one hand to turn off the lamp, watching her face as the light dimmed. I wrapped my arms around her, feeling her soft body relax within my embrace. I love you, I love you, I love you. Cristina leaned up and kissed me lightly. I wondered if somehow she’d heard me. “Good night, Cristina.” Her eyes looked luminescent in the dark of the bedroom. She kissed me again, this time on the cheek. I kissed her. Her voice sounded perfect for our setting, it was quiet but soft and somehow knowledgeable. Maybe she did know everything. “G’night, Burke.” (2 Comments |Comment on this)
2:25 pm	There Are No Words There Are No Words By greyeyedgirl (greys_ghostwriter@yahoo.com) A Cristina/Burke Grey’s Anatomy POV fanfiction Rating: This is actually pretty tame. Author’s Note: Sorry, I couldn’t resist doing a POV fic on that scene, I can’t help it, I’m completely obsessed. :-) It was just so sweet, and they didn’t have to say a thing. (Hence the title-There Are No Words) Sort of drabble fic really, but I hope you enjoy. Summary: C and B’s POV on the silent but sweet final scene between them in “Grandma Got Ran Over by a Reindeer” (Episode 2x12) Read, review, enjoy. First part-Cristina’s point of view, since I did Burke’s POV first for my one of my other C/B fics, “Listen to Your Heart.” Justin’s fever was down. It was actually down. He was starting to recover. Could it possibly, possibly have anything to do with me talking to him? If it was, then I had to rethink everything I’d ‘figured out’ about medicine. How could Burke be right? A spiritual and medical connection? WTF? A scene from Patch Adams, based on a true story, passed through my mind, but I shoved it determinedly out of it as I pulled my key from the pocket of my coat. So Burke was right. Big deal. When wasn’t he? He was right, and I was wrong, and that was just what Was. A mean, sarcastic thought passed through my head, but I pushed that away too. So I had to get used to being wrong all the time instead of being right. Whatever. I didn’t have to make a big deal out of it. The door to the apartment pushed open, and I walked into the room, tired and brimming with my thoughts. I hated how my thoughts did that to me sometimes. Just started spinning and firing, like a TV with a broken remote that won’t stay on one channel. That’s why surgery was so great. In an OR, I could think. My thoughts paused for a moment, as a smell reached my senses. Was that pine? My eyes lit on the Christmas tree, lights twinkling away. My eyes drifted over to the Menorah, lit and glowing bright through the darkness. A small smile toyed on my lips, but I managed to supress it. So Burke really wanted to celebrate the holidays? Fine. Fine. I didn’t have to make a big deal out of it. I knew Burke had to be home, since he’d decorated the tree and got the Menorah. I didn’t see him in any of the rooms though, and the apartment seemed dark. I walked silently towards the bedroom, peeking my head around the corner. Burke’s back was turned towards me as he was rummaging through a drawer, pulling out a bookmark. I slipped down the hall, finding the little pile where I’d stuck some of my clothes. I grabbed a pair of pajamas, my favorite ones I’d had since high school. I’d worn them my first night at both college and med school. The material was softer than it looked, and always felt warm and comforting. I took them into the bathroom with me, where I changed into them, and caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror as I put my hair into a ponytail. I looked tired. I always hated it when I looked like I did now, so exhausted my eyes looked almost tearful. I sighed, grabbing a container of cleanser and scrubbing my face, picking up the toothbrush I’d conveniently forgot to bring back to my own apartment. It was weird, but I had a thing for brushing my teeth. My real father was a dentist, and I suppose I got it from him. I loved the strength of flavor that hit me when the toothpaste slipped against my tongue, and just seeing the sparkling and cleanliness of my teeth when I was done. It was the only part of me that was even remotely naturally loving of things that were clean. I always noticed people’s teeth. Burke had great ones. I turned off the water and wiped my face, inhaling deeply as my breathing turned into a yawn. I set my clothes resignedly in the hamper, knowing if I didn’t I’d just awaken to see them there anyway. I knew Burke couldn’t help keeping things orderly, just as I couldn’t really help leaving things all over the place. When I was little, and I still loved dance, I’d tell people it was just my creativity releasing itself. It’d always made my best friend at the time, Michelle, laugh. I padded down the hall, feeling my heart beat in what seemed like synchronization with the tapping of my bare feet against the carpet. The door to the bedroom was slightly ajar, and it seemed like a metaphor for Burke and mine’s relationship-neither of us could really open up all the way, but both of us were still timidly showing ourselves to each other, hoping the other would take the initiative to be able to swing the door open. A smile lit up my face, and I opened the door all the way, running into the room and hopping into bed. Burke’s head was buried in his book, and I rather felt the emotion stirring inside him, instead of ceremoniously inspecting his features. I felt an unexpected rush shimmer through me, and I felt a tear brimming, startling me. I reached my hand up and pulled the scrunchie out, shaking my hair around to get it loose. I still wasn’t used to feeling a million different emotions all at once, with each one hurdling towards me like a rush of bullets. “Justin’s fever’s down,” I hear myself say. I’m not sure why I did say it, it just seemed important. Not in a “duh,-Burke’s-his-doctor,-he-needs-to-know-these-things,” sort of way, but in a “oh,-my-god,-I-may-have-totally-messed-things-up-with-my-boyfriend-and-need-to-make-things-right-somehow” way. But how could I make things right again? “I wonder why that is.” “I don’t know.” Could he possibly know what I had done? I shivered. Burke had an uncanny way of just Knowing some things. I laid my head against Burke’s chest, my hair resting against the side of his face. How could I feel so many things all at once? Peace, happiness...love, even? But also turmoil and fear and...what was it, even? What was it that I was feeling? My eyes fell on the book Burke was reading, and with a jolt I realized it was a book on Judaism. What had I done, exactly, to be able to get this guy to even remotely like me? What had I done to deserve even getting to know this guy? Getting to see his face every morning? And what if I wasn’t continuing to do it? Burke closed his book, slipping a bookmark in between two pages. He leaned over and shut off a lamp that was nearby, before leaning down to kiss my forehead lightly. I closed my eyes, as Burke’s arms wrapped around me. “Good night, Cristina.” I shivered at how my name sounded in his voice. “G’night, Burke.” (Comment on this)
2:08 pm	Down For Love (D/M angst) Title: Down For Love Author: Greyeyedgirl Disclaimer: I own nothing. I am a sick, obsessed child who is addicted to both Grey’s Anatomy and writing. I also have a procrastination problem, and this helps pass the time while I avoid doing my homework. :D Summary: “The liquor dripping down his throat was burning, and it fit Derek’s mood as he reminisced about Meredith.” Author’s Note: Quick fic to pass the time before Grey’s gets off hiatus. Read, review. And don’t get mad if the fiction sucks. I am very tired. And this fic was bothering me to be written. I think I have OCD. The liquor dripping down his throat was burning, and it fit Derek’s mood as he reminisced about Meredith. Her hair...It smelled good. Not like hair that had just been washed and smelled like expensive, over-scentified shampoo. It smelled like her. Like Meredith. Her eyes, her smile, the way she looked at him. He took another swig of the alcohol. They had to be long swigs, because if he just sipped at it, it would burn his tongue and throat, and he’d unwillingly spit it out. He had to just put as much down as quickly as he could to be able to swallow. Like ripping off a band-aid. No anesthesia. That was how she had been torn from him. Ripped away, leaving him down. He had drank the liquor as fast as he could, but it still burned, and it Hurt. He wiped the tear away from his eye, wishing it was just from the alcohol. He brought the bottle to his lips and inhaled. His coughing came out in rough bursts. “You okay, man?” It was Joe, looking at him, worry on his face. “I’m fine,” Derek managed. “Dude, I think you’ve had enough.” “I’m fine!” His voice sounded ruder than he’d intended. He’d had more than enough. “Sorry, Joe,” he whispered, taking the bottle of Southern Comfort and stumbling out the door. He couldn’t stay here. She might come, and he knew he would not be able to resist the temptation, or be able to calm his aching heart when she came into view. Addison was staying at the hotel, and he knew she would not be back to the bar that night, just like he wouldn’t go back to New York. Too many bad memories. He wanted to go home. It was what he thought of the trailer as, even though he hadn’t been back there for a couple of months. He couldn’t drive, could he? It wouldn’t be bright. He dipped the top of the bottle back into his mouth. Ohhhh, how it burned. He deserved it, for what he had done to her. His heart had been hurting since Meredith had first said, “It’s not enough.” His heart was ruined, maybe even his brain, so why not worry the rest of his organs, too? He missed her. He could see her face, the look in her beautiful eyes when she saw him, the happiness transformed into pain that was rivaled only by his own. Was that the price that had to be paid for loving someone? For having a person in your life that could cause a happiness like no other? Having them hurt you instead? God, he loved her. How do I love thee? Let me count the ways. I love the feel of your hair, soft and angelic through my fingers. I love the taste of your lips, the porcelain of your skin. The rhythmic beating of our hearts together. God, he was drunk. His eyes filled as he remembered the way she’d been after the big train wreck hit Seattle. How she’d reacted to Bonnie. “WE CAN’T JUST LEAVE HER!!! WE HAVE AN OBLIGATION!!!” Which had she said? We? Or he? His heart broke as he remembered her screams. How could he have done that? How could he have broken her like that? His body burned again, but this time it wasn’t from the alcohol. “Derek?” He looked up from his position with his head bent over the alcohol bottle. “Meredith,” he murmured. “It’s okay,” she said, bending down and taking the bottle from his hand. “It’s okay.” “Meredith,” he murmured, smiling. “Yes. It’s me.” “I’m srry. Iluv you.” His words were slurred and jumbled. “It’s okay,” she whispered. “Noooooooo.” Why was his head spinning such? “Iluv you Merdith.” Why couldn’t he talk right? “Meredith,” he corrected himself. “Yes.” “Iluv you.” “Yes.” He forced himself to open his eyes. “Sayit bak.” Meredith’s face swam in his mind. “Dude? Dude!” Derek awoke with a jolt. “What?” He mumbled quietly. “Uh, I think you fell asleep. Are you okay?” It was the male nurse, Tyler. “Yes.” He tried to sit up, his head throbbing and stomach burning. “Yes.” Tyler looked worried. “Are you sure, Dr. Shepherd?” Derek nodded absentmindedly, looking around. He must not have slept very long, it was still pitch black outside, and the alcohol had not even begun to wear off yet. He took another swig as he stood up, and it made him shiver. Ohhh, he was going to throw up. He made his way to the parking lot, fishing around in his pocket for his keys. There. Got ‘em. He sat himself down into the driver’s seat, fumbling to put the keys in the ignition. Turn, turn. There. Now, GO. He almost didn’t feel it as the impact threw him through the car. (1 Comment |Comment on this)